InSpiritry

Posted by Anne McCrady

 

In the US, it was Father’s Day yesterday, a day to acknowledge the very crucial role men play in their daughters’ lives, as mentors, as protectors, as supporters, as friends. It is a time to celebrate one of our most precious relationships.

In thinking about this post, I discovered a wonderful group called Dads & Daughters who support men who have daughters, inspiring them to be proactive and positive. You might check out their work!

I think most of us of whatever gender can trace back many of our choices and opinions to things our fathers said and did. What about you? How did your dad impact your life? Be careful –It’s a question that can take you to places you never planned to explore!

Yesterday (Sunday) morning, at Parkway United Methodist Church in Sugar Land, Texas– and I am sure in other contemporary worship settings as well– part of the music offering for the Father’s Day service was a poignant song by incredibly articulate American musician John Mayer. It is a song that stole my heart the first time I heard it (as several of Mayer’s hits have done); it went on to win “Song of the Year” in 2005. The title? Daughters. Here are some of the lyrics:

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

It’s so true: fathers can make or break girls as they become women, and those experiences impact them for the rest of their lives. I am grateful to have had a father who was a positive force for me, and even more grateful to be married to the best father I know. That said, I find in counseling women friends that destructive relationships between fathers and daughters can leave lifelong scars.

Still, this song offers more than that truth. Besides being an admonition to adults that children “will love like you do,” it holds a wider wisdom: that our collective inhumanity can ruin not only our own lives, but also those of the generation to come as our actions are mirrored in those who have watched us “in action.”

The old adage has never been more true:

We teach best by example.

So what is our example? What are the young poeple around us seeing as they watch us go about our lives? I shudder to think about the global implications. Here’s what I am afraid they see:

•  Arrogance - based on family/race/religion/nation
• Prejudice - people who are different cannot be trusted
• Greed - it’s mine, mine, all mine
• Vanity - appearances are more important than substance
• Violence - killing, especially in the name of God, is justified

If you are a father (or mother), I hope you will consider the lessons you teach your children by example, the ones you never intended to teach, the ones you teach when you don’t even realize anyone is watching, that it is OK to:

• scream (or worse) when you are angry
• blame others when things go wrong
• spend money foolishly instead of sharing
• choose negativity over optimism
• love only when things (and people) are perfect.

If you are not a parent, it is just as important to recognize your impact on the future. In fact, my great prayer is that we might each see how our individual prejudices and intolerances are being invested in the next generation. We are all responsible for what happens in the years to come!

So, this Father’s Day, let’s take John Mayer’s advice to fathers. To paraphrase:

Let’s all be good to our daughters (and sons)
They each will love like we do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So people, be good to your daughters and sons and grandchildren and friends and neighbors and even enemies, too.

Be Good for the Greater Good — Be a Blessing!

Subscribe to InSpiritry Emails or Contact Anne

This entry was posted on Monday, June 18th, 2007 at 10:04 am and is filed under PODCASTS, Family, Education, Children. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.